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| Book cover courtesy Greystone Books |
When Lori Shenher was in kindergarten, the teacher asked the students to form two lines before going outside to play. One line for the boys, one line for the girls.
The young Lori lined up along side the boys.
“I’m supposed to be a boy,” Lori told her teacher. “I don’t belong with the girls.”
That turned out to be a huge moment in the young child’s life.
Growing up in a devout Catholic family in Calgary in the 1970s, Lorimer Shenher (as he would later be known after he transitioned), struggled with his gender identity from an early age and he writes about it in his new book, This One Looks Like A Boy.
Obsessed with sports, Shenher devoted a lot of time to basketball and running. His love of sports would stay with him for the rest of his life and it helped him deal with the stress in his life.
Alcohol also played a factor.
“Drinking eased my social anxiety,” Shenher says in the book. “When I drank, I didn’t worry about not fitting into my gender or my skin.”
Shenher eventually left Calgary for Vancouver and joined the Vancouver Police Department. That career move would have another profound affect on his life, as he became heavily involved in the investigation of serial killer Robert Picton.
As a result of investigating Picton’s crimes, Shenher was diagnosed with PTSD.
Shenher also developed a relationship with a woman named Jennifer and had children together.
Before transitioning, Shenher gave birth to a baby boy, even though Shenher identified as male not female.
“I longed to adopt more outward symbols of manliness: facial hair, clothing styled for men, my man’s body built by a lifetime of physical activity,” said Shenher.
After surgery and hormone treatments, when Shenher began presenting as a man, he noticed he was treated differently and that he also in turn, treated other people differently. Mansplaining and the #MeToo movement were things he had to deal with.
“I sensed my behaviour around women needed to change,” he said. “No longer could I get away with the comments or language that might have been witty coming from another female.”
This One Looks Like A Boy is an enjoyable, informative read about self-identity and acceptance.